As photographers, many of us have probably searched for all different types of posing ideas from cute, to elegant, to unique. But we’ve also constantly seen examples of hetero-normative photographing and posing, rather than with LGBTQ+ couples. Which then has also led to some…interesting questions.

No doubt, some of these questions are well meaning, but clunky nonetheless. They’ve ranged from simply, “how do I pose two brides/two grooms?” To “who is the man and who is the woman?” Or, “how do I know who to pose as the masculine/feminine one?”

While I understand where some of these questions come from, I don’t think we need to complicate it that much! Your image is more than a perfect post. The colors, composition, focus, details, and of course the PEOPLE are all important, not just the pose.

Really, what it comes down to is that these are people just like anyone else, so treat them the same as other couples! Practice breaking down some of the binary thinking. So many of the poses are the same. The biggest thing that changes is the names, or different pronouns, to use in directing people in how to pose. There is no need for one to be more masculine or more feminine.

Questions to Ask

Think of some of the pre-work you do before you have a photo session. You are trying to capture raw emotions, joy, love etc – you want to know about the people you are photographing! You want to know how they connect, how they interact and how they feel comfortable. Not only that, but you want them to feel comfortable being themselves in front of you as well! That is one of the first things you are going to think about in how you pose people. Some examples can be asking some of their favorite activities, how much PDA they are comfortable with, or if there are any physical or noise limitations you should be aware of.

Speaking of pre-work: I know some photographers like to send out an email or link to a blog about how to prep or what to wear for engagement sessions, what brides and grooms should expect for wedding prep detail photos, and how the bride is the focus of the day. I say we can simplify this a bit.

Tips for Photographing and Posing LGBTQ+ Couples

First, you can guide both people to wear something nice but what they’re comfortable wearing. Have them share any important wedding day details or items. Also, why do weddings focus on a bride? I think both people deserve to be the focus, regardless of gender identity or expression. Even with a heterosexual wedding couple, I LOVE groom prep photos. Bowties, suspenders, watches, cufflinks, looking out the window contemplatively? Yes, please! Each person deserves to have some close-up images of the details of their clothes, jewelry, accessories, etc.

While many photographers definitely have one type of image that is usually their brand, we also want to remember that every person/couple/family is unique and you want to capture that essence! You want to make sure people look good AND they look like themselves in the photo regardless of their size, shape, color, or ability. This means that one simple formula for posing will not work for everyone, you should be flexible!

I know there are usually a few set standard “masculine” poses. But, for a trans guy like me, I know that I do not like how my body looks in certain poses because it shows what I see to be more “feminine” aspects of my body. Many times there are also a long list of feminine poses, how to make them look more soft, slender, feminine, usually light and airy as opposed to darker or more contrasting. However, not every bride is going to feel comfortable being posed that way. And, what about someone who is non-binary?

Here is where some of your pre-work can help, and even just your understanding of the couple as you work together. As you start posing them in neutral ways, you could ask how comfortable they are with different ideas you have in mind. Ask if one could carry another on their back. Or, alternate who gently holds the other’s face as they embrace each other, or alternate who is hugging who from behind. Maybe one sits and one stands, or both sit.

One of My Favorite Posing Prompts for LGBTQ+ Couples

One of my favorite prompts is as the members of a couple embrace each other from the side, they each take a turn drawing or writing a word on the other’s cheek. Then, the other person can guess what the word was. Usually you get some interesting faces, then some good laughs. Really, so many of the poses are the same as what you may think of using for a heterosexual couple. The biggest thing that changes is the names, or different pronouns, used to direct them in how to pose. There is no need for one to be more masculine, feminine, or “dominant.”

Things to Remember

One of the unique things you will have to think of with an LGBTQ+ couple, however, is safety. Depending on where you are doing a photo session, you will want to keep in mind how gay friendly the area may be. Consider this along with how comfortable your couple is showing affection in that area, especially with how busy that location may or may not be.

Reviewing some of what was touched on in this blog:

• Get to know a little bit about how your clients interact, how to refer to them, and ask what feels comfortable for them.
• People are all unique regardless of identity. Certain poses, angles, and lighting will look better on some than others.
  • Also be aware of limitations people may have so they are physically comfortable while posing – and that locations are accessible!
• Have some fun with your posing! Include something to DO while taking photos, and ask each person to alternate where they are in the photo or who is holding who; there does not need to be binary roles present in capturing tender moments.
• Consider having less focus on one person, and focus on each person equally.
• Keep your clients’ comfort level and safety in mind.

This is part of a series of guest blogs by Rylan Earle-Lott of Rylan Lott Photography, LLC about being an LGBTQ ally, terms and language for inclusivity, posing, and finding an affirming vendor/planning an inclusive wedding.

About the Author

Rylan (he/they) is a NJ based trans-masculine educator and photographer. He strives to create beautiful imagery in a comfortable and inclusive environment for those he works with. He uses a photojournalistic approach to capturing images that tell the entire story of the day. This includes formal portraits to joyful candids and everything in between. 

Outside of their own photography career, Rylan is enthusiastic and positive about sharing their journey of both unlearning and learning throughout his transition. This has included speaking on state panels about LGBTQ protections in education, as well as leading professional development workshops on supporting those in the LGBTQ community. Rylan fervently believes we can improve our communities and our society by educating those that seek it. 

You can see more of Rylan’s work and blogs by visiting www.rylanlottphotography.com.